What are we talking about when we use the term Emotional Intelligence? We are talking about a set of empathy, motivation, self-control, logic, ability to adapt and manage one's emotions. The fact that intelligence is a more complex and more articulated concept than is believed and that there are different types of intelligence no less important than the cognitive one normally considered is a further step towards understanding how much the emotional world and its understanding they can be determining factors in the construction of "well-being" in life. "Emotional Intelligence" is also the title of a text published in 1995 by Daniel Goleman. In this book, the author states, among other things, that self-knowledge, persistence and empathy are elements that arise from human intelligence, and are probably those that most influence human life. Often these abilities, which go to make up emotional intelligence, were underestimated, ignored or not considered as a relevant element in the calculation of the known but reduced intelligence quotient (IQ). The text is full of in-depth elements and references to numerous studies that attempt to highlight and prove how many and what are the connections between neurology and emotionality. Goleman in fact intended to give medical-scientific bases to his theory on emotional intelligence, a fact that I particularly appreciated.Unlike intelligence that can be measured through IQ tests, emotional intelligence can be developed and expanded and therefore also taught through example during growth. An education aimed at developing emotional skills allows the growth of more aware and stronger individuals, better equipped with those resources that can be crucial not only in the relationship with their family or friends, but also in building the right professional path. Those who are able to listen to their emotions by legitimizing and understanding them, are more likely to be able to find in themselves the drive and courage necessary in pursuing their goals because they will also be better able to control their instincts and self-motivate in building your life path: self-control, enthusiasm, perseverance and the ability to self-motivate are all skills at the basis of emotional intelligence. There is a common thread within the Emotional Intelligence book: proper management of emotional skills allows the development and maintenance of effective and satisfying relationships, be they personal or social, work or school. This is why Goleman addresses the issue of emotional intelligence "applied" to a series of human areas and shows its relevant aspects also through the work of other scholars (John Gottman for example, whom I had already read and appreciated) who with their contribution have highlighted how emotional intelligence is an essential element in the success of any type of relationship. As in the couple, emotional intelligence is also a very effective tool in professional relationships: learning to communicate clearly, learning the importance of feedback expressed in a constructive and non-destructive way, managing stress levels through a greater self-awareness and how to calm impulses and emotions not appropriate to the work environment, all this not only improves cooperation but greatly improves professional performance. Surely, one of the examples of applied emotional intelligence that fascinated me most is the attempt made in a San Francisco elementary school to teach children about emotions and their management. In the "science of the self" it is feelings, or rather, the management of emotions and feelings that become the subject of study. A transversal study that, alongside the curricular disciplines, involves every activity carried out within the school, placing the emphasis on one's own feelings and those of the other. Emotional literacy courses aim to develop in children the emotional skills considered as fundamental in the same way as all the other cognitive and cultural skills that the school must provide. And they do it in a rather practical way, underlining the relational dynamics in the class, making sure that the children listen to each other and listen to each other and providing tools that facilitate relationship, cooperation, overcoming conflicts through listening and communication. effective. These are therefore practical “lessons” which, precisely because of the emotional significance they have for children, are more easily internalized and end up becoming natural models of behavior. I find it an approach of great importance because the role of the school, although it must never overlap that of the family, can be fundamental in the formation of human beings prepared from a cognitive point of view but above all aware of their own emotions and better trained to take consideration of the others. A teaching model like this raises the capacity for self-awareness, increases the ability to name one's emotions, to recognize links between thoughts, feelings and reactions, to evaluate on what basis a decision is being made. It also trains children to evaluate the consequences of their own actions and those of others, to interact and cooperate in the interest and respect of the other people in the group. Regardless of the intrinsic usefulness of these teachings, I also find another aspect fundamental, namely that this educational model can act as a corrective in the case of children whose family life pays little attention to these aspects or, in even more serious cases, them completely neglect. Many typical reactions of closure and alienation, of refuge in drugs or food, especially in adolescence, could be contained if the children were given the emotional skills necessary to understand their emotions and moods, to accept them in order to change them in functional way to your own capabilities of the moment.
Goleman states in his book that we never stop learning and that our emotional brain is able to "reprogram itself" through new emotional experiences. Training children by teaching emotions, with examples of empathy and deep listening, can change society and encourage the growth of healthier people, from every point of view.
