Today I would like to talk about boundaries, that is, that invisible line that each of us draws and that serves to communicate to others how we want to be treated. Imagine them like a screen, a bubble if you want, that surrounds us and within which we are protected. Within this space we remember our value and in reminding ourselves of it we also teach it to others. It is something that no one teaches us specifically, or rather it is something that we learn, that we inherit in part for good and also for bad. It is good to check closely what the current state of our borders is. We may realise that the lack or fragility of certain boundaries is at the root of many emotional and relational problems, in every area of our life. We soon learn that saying NO in life is not that easy. Sometimes we prefer to sketch, even accept things that we don't particularly like in the name of the compulsion to please everyone, everyone, except ourselves, of course! We are often driven by a sense of guilt .. who has never thought of saying yes so as not to hurt someone, not to disappoint the expectations of others? In short: others treat us as we allow them to do so. Every time I communicate one of my borders, I am stating something important, I am giving indications to the other that have a great value such as "hey, I deserve better, I will not accept it from you if it is not good for me!" We obviously have different boundaries in different contexts. But in general healthy boundaries help us to manage the requests of others in ways and times that take into consideration everyone's needs, not just those of those who make the request. So when borders are healthy they feed our self-esteem, they do not diminish it, they help us to find ourselves in a safe space where we can grow in respect for ourselves. What are the things, relationships, experiences in your life that nourish this sense of your worth, that give you joy, wholeness? Which experiences are in tune with you and are aligned and respectful of your boundaries? And which, on the contrary, make you feel defeated, empty, worthless, weighed down? Now all these things have a physical counterpart, think about it ... what physical sensation does joy have? What vibration? And on the contrary? What physical strain does it take to compromise with our borders? Here every time you feel these sensations you are in the presence of a boundary that deserves to be reviewed and corrected! Ask yourself what can I fix in this area? How do I move the border? It is important to understand that borders are a space that we defend and that defends our value. The less I perceive the value of myself, the more fragile the boundaries are. The good news is we can work on it and change our borders! Here is an exercise that can help: Healthy bounderies _Relationship vision exercise (2) .pdf You can download it and have fun!
